Rating: 5 of 5 stars
Pages: 400 pages
Published: March 2025
Published: March 2025
The book is a non-fiction, personal account of McFadden’s life from about the age of two, where she survives a horrific car accident up until the publication of her debut novel, Sugar. Throughout the memoir, she not only details her coming of age in chronological order but also shares vignettes about her family members, specifically her grandmother, mother, and daughter who are also firstborn girls, Interspersed, McFadden includes timely historical accounts of current events happening at the time to help help provide context to her life stories while giving them depth and providing the reader with perspective.
The author’s vulnerability shines through in her dedication to provide a descriptive picture of her life as she shares the challenges that her birth order and gender afforded her. McFadden details both the highs and lows she endured as a firstborn girl growing up in a dysfunctional household in New York. I do believe people who are able to withstand the toughest trials end up being some of the most brilliant talents, and this definitely holds true for McFadden. Additionally, she offers some beautiful accounts of her personal experiences when she explains how her angelcestors* have watched over her.
America was and remains a powder keg, and often the match that lights the fuse is racism. -p. 5
Gwen made a face. “You mad or what? I ain’t wasting my vote on her. What a woman know ‘bout running a country, anyway, huh? And a Black woman at that! If you think dem white people are going to vote for her, you just as mad as that Patsy Hill girl!” -p. 94 [speaking of Shirley Chisholm’s presidential run not Kamala Harris’]
There weren’t just books, they were my friends, my security blankets, my pacifiers, and my safety nets. -p. 105
In America, she is legally white because the Supreme Court says that people from Syria/Lebanon are racially white. Which proves yet again that race is a construct without biologically meaning. -p. 164
She spoke like she knew her way around a plate of fried chicken, black-eyed peas, and corn bread. Like she might not have been able to double Dutch but could turn. The thing I’m trying to tell you is that girl clapped on the two and the four and not the one and the three. -p. 170
But I’m talking about it now because I’m tired if keeping it to myself, and I’ve learned that things that live in the dark, die in the light. -p. 184
At the age of forty-four, Amanda died in 1893 of neurasthenia- also known as nervous exhaustion. Being Black and female in America is still an exhausting existence. -p. 254
If damned if you do and damned if you don’t were a people, those people would be Black. -p. 301
In America, Black kids don’t get to be kids, especially in the eyes of white people. Black children have been adultified since slavery, perceived as older and less innocent than white children. For hundreds of years, they’ve used this as an excuse to exact violence on our children. -p. 302-303
Penance aids the sinner; it does not erase the crime or the people harmed. -p. 303
I suspect the peek into his family history made him feel less alone in the world, maybe in some strange way it made him feel powerful. Maybe that’s why America works so hard at erasing and rewriting the true history of Black people in this country. -p. 329
While reading this book, I had to remind myself that I was learning about someone’s real life because McFadden writes in such a gripping and arresting way, that sharing her life almost feels like fictional storytelling to the reader. Most of my reading of this book was done with my physical hard copy, but I also took advantage of Spotify to listen to the book while driving. I don’t often do this, but I was so invested in quickly learning more about the author, I wanted to utilize each free moment I had to dive in more.
Recommendation: McFadden is a talented and prolific writer, and I am shamed to admit I had read none of her works until now. I have, indeed, been missing out. After quickly consuming this novel, I am sure to pick up another work by her very soon. I highly recommend this book to readers who are interested in history, genealogy, or want to get to know more about McFadden’s fascinating life.
Recommendation: McFadden is a talented and prolific writer, and I am shamed to admit I had read none of her works until now. I have, indeed, been missing out. After quickly consuming this novel, I am sure to pick up another work by her very soon. I highly recommend this book to readers who are interested in history, genealogy, or want to get to know more about McFadden’s fascinating life.
Until next time ... Read on!
Regardless of whether I purchase a book, borrow a book, or receive a book in exchange for review, my ultimate goal is to be honest, fair, and constructive. I hope you've found this review helpful.
Regardless of whether I purchase a book, borrow a book, or receive a book in exchange for review, my ultimate goal is to be honest, fair, and constructive. I hope you've found this review helpful.